Month: April 2023

If your experience of Spain is as a tourist or holiday maker, then it’s likely there are a number of things you don’t know about Spain.

For example, there’s a fabulous gadget on all cars here which enables you to stop and/or park wherever you like, be it in the middle of the road, on a roundabout, under a “No Parking” sign or wherever.

It’s a fantastic invention and it works really, really well. Now I’m not saying it will work if you’re here on holiday and have a car hire sticker on the car, but all vehicles, including hire cars, are fitted with this nifty wee gadget, and it’s the most useful thing you can have. Imagine crawling through town on a buy day and needing to get your prescription filled at the local Farmacia, or you need a few groceries from the little supermarket in the main street. No parking spaces anywhere within about ahalf hour walk? No problem, just use your little magic gadget and you can double or even triple park while you scoot into the shop for whatever you need. It doesn’t matter if you block the traffic, you’re not going to be too long anyway, even if your trip includes popping in for a cold beer on a hot day before going back to your car.

This gadget is….your hazard warning light switch. It’s a free pass in Spain to park wherever, and for however long you like. Or so it seems. I have never, ever seen anyone ever get a ticket for this, even when the local police and Guardia Civil are out in full force enjoying the sunshine. It’s possibly because everyone in inland towns appears to be related to each other, including the police, and you can’t give your Aunt Maria’s brother-in-law Paco a parking ticket, can you? It woudn’t seem fair! And just look what I found when I came out of the post office the other day, this eejit parked so neatly in front of my car! He came back within about 2 minutes, grinned and waved, and drove off in a cloud of noxious gases. You really don’t want to be too fussy about the state of your car here!

Something else that often seems unfair to British tourists is that if you buy a lottery ticket here, and are lucky enough to win more than €2500, you will pay tax on it, at a rate of around 24%. The British aren’t used to paying tax on lottery wins, as in the UK any wins are tax-free. Not so in Spain. And you needn’t think you can scoot out of Spain home again before they ask you for the tax, it’s conveniently taken off before you can collect your winnings!

Bureaucracy in Spain is an utter nightmare. Shady deals are common, and it is still a fairly corrupt country, especially in the eyes of most other Europeans who are used to things being done properly and above board. First of all, to do anything in Spain requires a phenomenal amount of paperwork, and every sheet seems to cost a fortune. There are still many deals done under the counter and, sadly, if they think you’re English they’ll try to add a bit on to the bill. Two lessons here – learn to say “No soy inglesa soy irlandesa” (Im not English, I’m Irish), and make sure if you need plumbers, electricians, builders etc you get a lot of personal recommendations and, if possible, see their work. We have been extremely lucky in that the builders we have are excellent, and Miguel, our electrician, is a star, having been rewiring our whole house after his usual day job in the town hall! We have been very fortunate in that we’ve had no issues, unlike quite a few other “ex-pats” who seem to only moan about everything. You reap what you sow, as they say.

The biggest problem many areas in Spain has had in recent times is the illegal house builds. Some town mayors have, in the past, been only too willing to collaborate with shady builders and “pass” building projects that have no legal paperwork. This is slowly being rectified, and has led to a number of mayors and other town hall officials throughout Spain being found guilty of everything you can think of and sentenced to prison terms. Two interesting points here – firstly it is the responsibility of the developer to pay for the infrastructure to new housing they build, to cover roads, street lighting, sewerage etc. Many builders have named the clients as the developers, instead of themselves, meaning that home owners are now likely to be hit with bills of between €10,000 and €20,000 each to install the infrastructure. It is absolutely ESSENTIAL to make sure you have a good lawyer to check your paperwork, to make sure everything is legal and above board, and to avoid pitfalls such as mentioned above. The lawyer I used when moving here was Michael Davies, his office covers Almeria, Mojacar and Marbella, with much of the Costa del Sol. Michael is without doubt the best around, so if you’re thinking of buying in those areas do make contact and tell him I sent you! The website is https://www.daviessolicitors.com/davies-abogados-solicitors-barrister-spain/

Just a quickie here, as you might not guess where this is? It’s Benidorm, during the relief of the local but not international covid lockdown period when we were able to travel within Spain. A very far cry from most people’s idea of Benidorm when all you see on TV is the ex-pat and British culture! It’s actually very lovely, great beaches, beautiful old town, great shopping and you can opt for a quiet, chilled experience or a completely lively and party-all-night one!

Even if you are the most ardent animal lover you might still find some of the Spanish wildlife difficult to warm to. Much of it is really best admired from afar, as getting too close can have very undesirable consequences! There are lots of differences between the living things in the UK and those in Spain and that includes both pets and wild things.

The biggest, and possibly the most dangerous we have bumped into so far is wild boar. And when I say “bumped into” I mean it literally. We were heading out for dinner one evening, after dark, and tootling along the road, doing about 60kph, not fast at all. Out of nowhere appeared a herd of wild boar, including males, females and little piglets. I had no mission of stopping in time and ran straight into them, killing one outright and scattering the rest. In total shock I phoned my lovely friend, Clare Shirley – she’s bi-lingual – who arrived very quickly. Her husband Richard helped warn on-coming traffic of the carnage on the road while Clare phoned the Guardia Civil, who also arrived very quickly. The only thing they wanted to know was if I wanted them to put the dead boar into the boot of the car so we could take it home for the freezer! Err, no thanks, even though I am partial to a bowl of wild boar casserole!

It really bothered me that I had killed one and I hoped I hadn’t injured any others. Peter went back to the scene of the crime the next day, and spotted this young one just looking round. Those wild animals can be huge and very fast moving, and can easily kill a person. I was really glad the massive thing hadn’t come up over the bonnet and through the windscreen. In fact, the damage to the front of my car was minimal, and only cost €35 to sort. A bit of a miracle! I was so glad of my friend Clare’s help that night, she made contacting the GC very easy and straightforward.

Snakes are another delight here, and in the summer you will often see them crushed on the roads if they haven’t been quick enough to avoid the traffic. Most will keep out of sight and away from humans but occasionally you can come upon them a little too close for comfort.

One lovely day I was cooling off in the pool while Peter was sweeping up leaves from the patio. We both spotted a snake in the pool – I have never swum so fast to the steps in my life! I am seriously considering trying out for the Olympic swimming team, I’m sure I swam the whole length of the pool in under one second. We caught the snake in the pool net and took it away across the road to an area with plenty of undergrowth, and let it go. We laugh about it now but it was not funny at the time, not funny at all!

It was only a wee one, and not harmful to humans but…..no thanks!

The things that frightens me most are centipedes called scolopendras. They are hideous things which are around 10 centimetres long. They can move fairly quickly and have a bite/sting that causes humans indescribable pain, so you really don’t want to mess with them. They’re virtually indestructible as well, and even if you chop them in half they will still come after you – both bits, that is! We have come across only a very few in the house, and they really scare me. I try to be really quick and catch them with tongs and get rid of them over the big garden wall at the side of the house. They make my skin crawl and I absolutely HATE them as a bite or sting means you can end up in hospital very quickly.Yes, that bad!

Geckos are very commonplace here, and they are great wee things at keeping the mosquito population under control, but I’m not dying about seeing them in the house as they move very quickly and I’m always worried they might run over me at night in bed!

At least they are friendly to humans, and not a threat in any way. When we find one in the house we usually catch it in the pool net and get it back safely outside to the garden.

When I first moved to Spain I used to hear what sounded like electricity wires buzzing in the summer. It was ages before I learned they are cicadas, a sort of beetle insect, and the buzzing is the sound the males make when trying to attract a female. They are quite chunky and measure around a couple of inches long.Their eggs are laid underground and they stay there for years, finally surfacing to mate and then die. Not a lot of fun being a cicada! They are harmless to humans, are very shy and difficult to spot and tend to fall silent if you approach. They are masters of disguise so I was very lucky to get a photo of this one on a tree on our terrace.

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Spain is, without a doubt, one of the noisiest countries on the planet. In fact, according to Spaniards, Spain is really the noisiest country, followd by Japan, of all places.

I find Spaniards to be a naturally a joyful, loud and excitable lot, with a real enthusiasm for life. If you’ve ever been in a restaurant or even seated within about 50m of a group of Spaniards you will be hard pushed to hear the people at your own table! They all shout over each other, and even when not trying to make themselves heard there seems to be a certain tone belonging to Spanish voices which can penetrate stone walls!

Actually it’s one of the lovely things about Spain, and we love going to the coast or into the city for lunch and a bit of a stroll as there’s always a real buzz about the place. Of course there’s traffic noise but it’s more than that, it’s the general way people talk/shout at each other in the friendliest way you can imagine, but at around 100 decibels. They can be standing right next to you and yet they’re shouting straight into your face, marking the pauses with big smiles, hugs and nudges. Deafening!

Noise levels played a big factor when we were deciding where to buy our house. We’re in the country, about 630 metres above sea level, with phenomenal views over the mountains and valley towards Cartagena and the coast. Quite often we’re actually above the clouds which means we can’t even see Fortuna in the distance. The only noise up here is from dogs in the area, and frankly you get used to that after a while. Coming home after a busy day out is wonderful, the peace and quiet is guaranteed to make you just breathe in and…relax.

That’s actually the view from our en-suite bathroom, a real loo with a view!

We’re fast approaching the best time of the year for generally not exerting ourselves too much, and just lounging around, outside. Being able to eat outside is one of life’s little pleasures, whether it’s via the BBQ or just bringing the food out from the kitchen. It is a real joy to be able to have friends over, cook a big feast and just relax round the table with cold beers and vino, enjoying the warm evenings.

We bought a great hammock which we put up across the verandah, and where the husband can often be found snoozing after a hot day doing the necessary chores like being out for lunch. Our little grandsons both loved to climb in with Peter and play their games or read on their tablets. Little and large here enjoying the peace and quiet in between dips in the pool!

Summer nights are very hard to beat here. When the temperatures reach 40C+ during the day they can still frequently top 30C at night, so we’re glad to be in a big old house with thick stone walls to keep indoors cooler in summer and warmer in winter. It’s very, very difficult to sleep in such temperatures with no moving cool air, and when a fan tends to blow the warm air around you need to get creative about keeping cool. We gave in last year and installed an air con unit above our bed – utter bliss! It gives us a boost of heat in the winter and keeps us cool at night in the summer, ideal, and something you really need to think about if planning to live in Spain.

Wherever you choose, check what the weather is like all year round. By the coast it gets very humid, something neither of us can stand, which is why we chose inland. Where we are can be quite cold in winter, but now we have the two big log burners (plus the extra wee boost from the aircon unit in our bedroom) the house is heated very well. In the summer it’s a joy to walk indoors from the heat of the day, as the thick walls keep the house lovely and cool. While the heat of the summers here an be very appealing for holiday-makers, it’s a different story when you live here and have to manage with it every day. Thank goodness we’re retired and can just lie around in the pool all day!

One of the most frustrating things about living in Spain is the bureaucracy. Administrative systems here are about 50 years behind the rest of the world, and computers in “linked” departments don’t seem to be able to talk to each other. There are 2 main issues about this, the admin systems and the people who operate them.

As an example, in the UK when you want to change the ownership details of a car you’ve just bought into your name you just fill in the relevant form, send it off, and the log book is returned to you, all free of charge.

In Spain, there is a fairly hefty fee involved, and it’s based on a percentage of what the car is worth, around 4% of the purchase price. Actually, it’s based on a percentage of what the government DECIDES the car is worth. So even if you can prove you paid €10,000 for your second hand car, and you expect to pay around €400 to register the car in your name, the government might have decided that a car of that age, mileage etc would be worth €12,000, therefore you will pay more. Who do you pay it to? Guess!

To change the name you need to make an appointment at the Trafico office in the city, and turn up with all your paperwork relating to the car, plus your residencia card, your passport, and probably your first born child, Then you take a ticket like at the supermarket meat counter and wait till your number comes up. (Bringing a book and a picnic might be useful for what can be a long wait.)Then you present your information to the woman behind the counter who sniffs, grunts, and asks you for some other bit of irrelevant paper. No problem, you’ve brought everything including your birth certificate and 50 year old Primary School reports!

Most staff seem to be so surly – I see it as a challenge and smile at them like an idiot, chatting about the weather or anything else that comes to mind. Another ticket, another wait, another queue. The next ticket is for the desk beside the previous one – well if the humans can’t talk to each other why should the computers?! And you go through the whole rigmarole again and if you’re lucky you get dismissed, if not you have to wait and start again. If you’re really lucky you will get your car registration details through in the post.

There is, however, an easier way to beat this system, even if it seems to have been created to provide more jobs for people. This is the Gestoria or Asesor, who will do all the donkey work for you, for a fee, of course. When I lost all my paperwork for my car I went to our local Gestoria where the staff are quite brilliant, always friendly and helpful. In about 20 minutes all the relevant forms were completed, and they then made the appointment at Trafico, and, most importantly, THEY went there and got all my new car documents for me! For a fee of around €50 I reckon it’s so much more than worth it! I just love those people, they’re worth every cent! They’re updating my medical card and driving licence next, and I’m very happy to stay at home relaxing on the terrace and and admiring a view I never tire of.

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