When you move to another country, especially one where you don’t initially know the language, it can be more difficult to make friends. You will inevitably meet people who do speak the same first language as you, in our case English, but some expats seem to only associate with other native English speakers, thus losing out on the richness of cultural exchange. It never ceases to amaze me how many English expats there are who are only able to utter a few basic words in Spanish, even after living here for years.
We don’t claim to be fluent in Spanish, or anywhere near it, but we can hold on-going conversations with most people and in most situations. We are reasonably competant, which is really how it should be, given that we’ve been here for a total of 38 years between us!
Forming new friendships in a foreign country is difficult, mainly because you have no shared history, and no real knowledge of who the person is, so you have no idea what their agenda is. My lovely friend Karen Roberts offers really sound advice when making new connections in a new setting – she says you should always ask yourself “If these people lived down the road from you at home, would you be friends with them?” If the answer is no, probably not, then remember you can be friendly without having to be best friends. So many people come out to Spain with a different agenda, a need to reinvent themselves, and any problems they had previously are just brought with them. Often they can end up with even more problems once they get here. Sometimes they end up suffering with poor health or even, in the worse case scenario, finding out the house they’ve bought isn’t actually legal. In fact, many expats themselves aren’t in the country legally – they haven’t registered for residence as required by law, and they often work for cash in hand to avoid paying tax. We knew quite a few like that in the last place we lived. It’s now becoming much more difficult for people to fly “under the radar”, thus many seem to be heading back to the UK.
In the last town we lived in there were quite number of illegal or “irregular” houses, making the owners’ lives more stressful than necessary. In addition, many ex-pats tend to confine themselves to the same cliquey groups, often, sadly, arranged round drinking. The drinking culture is alive and well amongst ex-pats. Sadly, it often means their friendship connections are limited. They also lose out on a lot of the Spanish culture and tradition, sometimes not even venturing too far outside their own area. Sadly, we saw this all too often in the area we used to live in, though I’m sure it happens everywhere. Drinking and driving is a national problem in Spain, so many people think nothing of downing beers all afternoon in a bar, then driving home. In Spain the alcohol limits are much lower than in the UK – two bottles or cans of beer will put you on the edge, if not just over the limit. Three bottles or cans means you will be well over the limit and will pay a fairly heavy penalty. It’s no wonder the place is full of the most atrocious drivers!
It’s not always easy adapting to a different culture, but the most important helpful hints are to learn the language and to get out and about, away from your immediate area. You will find that this enriches your life abroad!
That’s why, so often, it is just brilliant to catch up with friends from home, and it really does the heart and soul good to keep those connections alive and healthy. We love it when friends from home come to stay with us, or come on holiday to the coast within easy striking distance so we can get together and catch up on all the craic from home as well as from here.
Cherish those friends, people, they’re your tribe!
A recent report by InterNations has shown Spain is the second best place in the world to live in, for ex-pats. Not surprising, given the beautiful weather, the fabulous variety of scenery, and the generally much more affordable standard of living, compared to the UK. Mexico scored highest – I’m not too sure about that one! If you retire to Spain you can have a great life if you have no mortgage or rent to pay by owning your property outright, and if you have an income that means you don’t have to work to pay the bills. It is more difficult if you have a young family, and mortgage or rent to pay. We’re very fortunate in that we own our (fully legal) house outright, and we have a very healthy and comfortable income – all that hard work over the years has definitely paid off for us! Since Brexit changed the rules for UK passport holders it is much more difficult to emigrate to Spain, or any other Schengen country. It is also very, very expensive in terms of having to take out private health insurance, and the amount of money you have in the bank to prove you can support yourselves as initially you will not be allowed to work. It’s no wonder so many people from Great Britain suddenly decided to love the Irish and pursue family links that would enable them to obtain an Irish passport! And here’s another way Irish passports are very desirable – they have music and poetry printed on every page!
There’s no doubt that, for us, Spain is a great place to live. It’s a very big country, with great infrastructure, making travel to the different areas quite straightforward. Decent hotels are very affordable, so we often just decide to have a night or two away somewhere different, to explore and enjoy a change of scene. We have two more little breaks in Spain planned before now and Christmas, as well as our upcoming trip home to Northern Ireland. Of course it’s also lovely to come home to your own bed after a trip away – and we think the views from our terrace match any views in Spain!
We’re thinking of renaming our house “The Forth Road Bridge” as all the things we want and need to do to it seem never-ending. We really are almost there in terms of renovations and repairs, just a few more upgrades to some of the electrics, replace one of the bathrooms and then it’s just the decorating to do. Well I say “just the decorating” but with 13 rooms it’s going to take a fair old amount of paint! It will look grand when it’s finished – eventually! Probably just in time for us to decide to sell? We are thinking about a few years hence, and looking at the possibility of selling the big house to buy somewhere smaller in Spain, and also somewhere in Northern Ireland. As we are both Irish citizens and thus have Irish passports we won’t be limited to the “90 days in any period of 180 days” that third countries have to manage when visiting the Schengen zone. The main issue would be to not stay in Spain for more than 183 days in any full year, as otherwise we would remain fiscally resident in Spain and be liable for taxes here. Being taxed in the UK is far more advantageous – the personal allowance there is £12,750 whereas in Spain it’s a miserable €6000, not great! So, six months in Northern Ireland and six months in Spain sounds like a plan we’ll be considering further.
Watch this space!
My life in Spain 