What’s this about then?! One of the potential downsides of moving abroad, and how to stop it! Jealousy has frequently been referred to as the “green-eyed monster” thanks to quotes from The Merchant of Venice, and Othello.
It’s also said, in the Bible, that the love of money is the root of all evil. I disagree, I think jealousy holds that prize. It seems that all the problems on this planet are a result of jealousy, between countries, teams, individuals or whatever. It’s the latter I’m interested in today, since this is where most of us experience being on the receiving end.
The point of this is that jealousy is something that many ex-pats may have to face at some stage or another. It can really be a major issue for a lot of people, and can make or break your comfort in settling in to a new area where you really don’t know anybody.
I have spoken to plenty of people who have expressed dismay at finding out that some they thought were friends have turned out to be jealous of them, for whatever reason, and who have now turned against them. There’s something rather “school playground” about this, isn’t there?
As I wrote in an earlier post, you can be friendly with people you have only met recently, on moving to another country, but you don’t know their history, their previous experiences, their modus operandi and so on. Thus it is prudent not to ever give too much of yourself all at once. There is a chance that some will spot your vulnerability or weak points and try to use this against you, in an attempt to make themselves feel better about their own situation. This is particularly evident given the rise of social media, the ideal way to spread gossip, rumours and lies about anyone.
There will always be someone taller, shorter, fatter, thinner, richer, poorer than you. There’s no point in envying what someone else has if you’re not prepared to do something about your own situation. We know of people whose houses appear to be illegal, who have ongoing feuds with neighbours, who are under retirement age and possibly resent having to work when others are happily retired early. Oh yes, and then there was the couple we befriended and helped out with things like showing them how to clean their pool. The wife didn’t actually like her husband, and seemed to prefer mine! More than once,while under the influence, she announced to all and sundry that she thought my husband was “drop dead gorgeous” and she really believed she “could have a chance with him”. Not in her wildest dreams, but it gave many of us a good giggle! However she subsequently did her best to malign and libel me on local forums. The answer? Advise her of the law regarding libel and malicious damage to reputation. She gave up after that. Oh yes, and lay very low on local forums, they tend to be a hotbed of nasty gossip!
It’s easy to see where resentment can escalate to dizzying heights, to the extent that nasty and childish comments are made about others who the miserable ones believe to be more fortunate. There’s no point losing sleep over this kind of person, or working yourself into a frenzy wondering what you have “done wrong” to elicit this kind of nasty response. You haven’t done anything, you need to remember that it’s their problem, not yours, and ignore it. We are very lucky as we have a fully legal house owned outright, we have a good income without having to work, we have a strong relationship and we have wonderfully kind and helpful neighbours. And yes, we do count our blessings, every day, while ignoring those who spread silly nonsense. As they say, a lion doesn’t concern itself with the opinion of sheep!
We have also experienced this in the past, and have learned to simply walk away. Happy people don’t treat others badly, so when someone behaves in this way it’s because they are unhappy and jealous, and they seem unable to accept responsibility for themselves.. Remember, whatever they say is a reflection of themselves and has nothing to do with you. We just feel sorry for them and move on. Life is too short to waste time seeking approval from others. Just be aware that, particularly for ex-pats, jealousy tends to rear its ugly head from time to time. Protect yourself by deciding to have no truck with it…but don’t let it stop you from making new friends!
And now for something completely different….food again! One of the best restaurants we’ve been to in Spain is in Elda, and is called Restaurante Magico Campico. It is an amazing experience not to be missed! The owner’s father built the interior by had, wanting to create a very magical, “other world” experience, and he certainly succeeded, as you can see from the photos.
The food is exquisite, everything freshly prepared, imaginative, exciting, beautifully presented, and tastes of heaven…I could go on forever! This restaurant is a real feast for the eyes as well as for the palate, and is less than an hour away from us. I know I might be overloading you with photos but I want you to get a real feel for the place. If you’re looking for a traditional menu del dia then this is not the place, the costs reflect the standard of cuisine so be prepared to dig a little deeper than usual. Let’s be honest – we know people who will travel to historic cities for a couple of day’s break but will choose to eat in fast food places like Burger King, so this restaurant is probably not for them! The basic menu del dia starts at €40 per person and goes up to €60 per person, but oh my word it’s worth every cent!
They cater for special occasions like weddings and family celebrations, and they promise to make your whole dining experience something to remember…and return to again and again! Do yourselves a favour and check out their website at http://www.campico.es for photos, videos and menus. For those of you living anywhere within striking distance of Elda, make a reservation now!
Just to make you laugh, since moving to Spain we’ve come up against a couple of foods we wouldn’t choose to ever eat again. Peter will eat everything except snails and mushrooms. We were at our favourite local restaurant recently and he wasn’t sure what one of the starters was, it was listed as a rustic gazpacho, so he decided to have something different and try it. Yep, you guessed it, snail casserole! He really tried valiently to manage but in the end he had to tell the waiter he couldn’t eat it. To their credit, and because we are regular customers, the snails were removed and he was served something much more palatable – and there was no charge for the extra starter either!
In another place we were sampling the tapas and I asked a passing waiter what was on the plate he was taking to another table. I couldn’t understand a word of what he was saying but it looked like pork pieces so I asked “cerdo?” to which he replied “si”. When it arrived I thought it both looked and tasted a bit gelatinous and after a couple of mouthfuls I had to admit defeat. When I got home I looked up what I’d been eating – pigs’ ears. Good grief, pigs’ ears! Never again – the Spanish are known for eating every part of the pig except the squeal, but the ears, trotters and tails are OFF my menu!
My life in Spain 